Angelic visitor provides more help!

A brief (I hope) up date on where we are with the lung cancer nonsense. Having had a miserable weekend with pain and vomiting (only made bearable by being able to watch all the Church General Conference sessions on the web, see LDS.org) I contacted St Christophers Hospice and they responded immediately by sending out an angel in the form of Dr Debbie Swann.  Dr Debbie (as she likes to be called) was brilliant, she gave me a thorough examination and reviewed what had been happening and what medication I was on.  She adjusted my medication and answered all my questions. Finally she said she would like to admit me to the Hospice for a few days so they could assess my condition more accurately and adjust the medication to suit.  So here I am sitting in bed having had my first night in the hospice.  Every one has been brilliant and I did get some sleep. Hopefully they will be able to help me keep some food down.

I think it was an old friend, Alex Barclay who shared the following quote with me that I found uplifting.
No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our character, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God.
Elder Orson F Whitney

Watch this space and I will try to keep you posted.

The old fishermans latest report on the health front!

Now the Royal Marsden Hospital have advised that the chemo is not working and they can do no more for me, the challenge is to control the pain so that I get some quality of life during my remaining months.  This is a lot easier said than done.  Fortunately this is where the St Christopher's Hospice get more involved. Last week I was not well enough to go to my regular meeting at the hospice to review my pain control, having vomited three times the night before and still feeling rough.  The hospice kindly arranged for a male nurse to visit me at home the next day.  His name was Matt Loveridge and he was excellent.  He reviewed what was happening to me, how I felt and what drugs I was on and then he made a number of recommendations which he wrote out in beautiful script and gave to me.  I know a lot of my readers have a medical background so here is the detail:-

For pain relief - increase the OxyContin tablets to 40mg twice a day.  Continue to take the OxyNorm liquid,10 to 15ml when required.  Take Nortriptyline at 20mg in the evening.

To control sickness - take Domperidone 10mg 3 times a day before meals.

To relieve constipation - take 2 Laxido sachets in 250ml of water each day.

I also take two 500mg paracetamol tablets four times a day at four hourly intervals.

Fortunately now I am off the chemotherapy I don't have to take all the pills associated with that (what a relief!).

However I am starting to wish I had shares in pharmaceutical companies!

Two of the things the medics ask that I have difficulty in answering relates to the pain. They ask where does it hurt and how bad does it hurt? The where is the easiest to explain except that the pain is internal and varies with movement and breathing. Basically my whole right lung aches most of the time even when I am under the pain control medication. It used to only ache low down but has progressively moved up.  When the pain control pills have worn off then the pain is a serious distraction and I have to try and do something about it. On a scale of 1 to 5 where 1 is no pain and 5 is excruciating pain I feel I regularly score a 3.5 and sometimes even a 4! This is when I use the OxyNorm liquid and the heat bag!  The heat bag was made by my daughter-in-law Debbie and it contains wheat, I think, anyway put it in the microwave for 90 seconds and it stays warm for a couple of hours.  I then place it on my shoulder and neck and the feeling of heat tends to mask some of the pain.

On the good news front Rosalind and I have met with the funeral director and I have decided where I want to be buried. The cemetery is called Greenlawns Memorial Park and it is high on the North Downs about 3 miles south of where we live, well away from traffic and heavily populated locations. Hopefully I will be able to "rest in peace!"  Only flat (horizontal) head stones are allowed making for a vary open and airy scene.  I bet it makes cutting the grass easier too!

So long and thanks for all the fish!

One of the funniest and most imaginative books I have ever read is The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. The sequel "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe" is equally good as is the last book in the series the title of which I have chosen as the title for this post.  This post title was suggested by my son Daniel who thought I should blog about my experiences fishing when I lived in Gibraltar where Daniel was born. So here goes......

One day whilst working as a draughtsman in Croydon for the government I heard that they urgently needed a draughtsman out in Gibraltar. I phoned staff management Thursday pm, Friday am they said they had checked my file and I met the criteria and I had to let them know first thing Monday morning if I wanted to go.  I went home to Rosalind and our two young children (Jason and Rachel) and shared the news.  We sat down with a blank sheet of paper and listed the pros and the cons.  On balance we decided that we should go, but having found out that there was not a branch of our Church on the Rock and the border with Spain was closed we decided to fast and pray to know if that was the right decision.  We got our answer and so Monday morning I made the call and a couple of weeks later I flew out by RAF Britannia as the advanced guard leaving Rosalind behind with lots to do!

So having sketched in the background, now to cut to the chase which involves fishing.  There I was practically surrounded by the sea having brought my sea fishing tackle with me.  So I started fishing from the North Mole (a mole is a big quayside) using slivers of cockle on size 4 hooks and the result was that I caught small fish.  When I spoke to the locals they all said you should have been here 10 years ago, before the Spanish started over fishing the area at night with lights and nets!  So eventually I got fed up with catching, gutting and eating the little fellers so I decided to focus on sailing and squash.  It was not to be as a few evenings later I was standing in front of my naval officers house when a Moroccan chap walked past with a couple of pieces of long bamboo sloping over his shoulders.  What really caught my eye were the two large sea bass hanging out of his tackle bucket!  Wow!  So this chap armed with two pieces of bamboo which he lashes together with a safety pin on the end to make a rod and line wrapped around a coke bottle as a reel is catching decent sized fish.  And there am I with a fibre glass rod and a super Mitchell fixed spool reel catching sprats!  So I resolved to study how the locals fished.

The next morning, a Saturday, saw me out early driving round the Rock looking out for a local  person fishing.  I had nearly given up when I spotted a car parked at the back of the Nuffield Services Swimming Pool.  Sure enough there was a Gibraltarian fishing off the wall above the sea.  I didn’t think much of the location but I pulled in 20 yards away from him and started setting up my tackle.  He had a rod out and I watched him retrieve, bait up and cast quite a long way.  Then he wandered over to chat. When he saw the size of hooks I was using he laughed and told me that was why I was only catching small fish.  He very kindly went to his car and came back with a huge steel hook.  He then showed me how to put a whole cockle on as bait.  He even said you can leave half the shell on as the fish will crush the shell and swallow the lot. By now I was convinced I was dealing with a mad man! Suddenly his rod nearly jumped into the sea and he was sprinting to grab it.  Tightening the drag he gave an almighty strike and battle commenced.  The fish was stripping line off the reel so he re-tightened the drag and then asked me to hold him by his belt as he climbed on top of the sea wall.  For what seemed like an age the struggle went on until the fish, still not seen, was swimming back and forwards right in front of us.  What happened next really surprised me as he gave me the rod saying hold onto him and then running to his car he stripped off to his Y fronts (underwear) grabbed a snorkel, face mask and flippers and ran to the beach where he could get into the sea.  Then he swam round to me up on the wall and grabbed the line where it entered the water.  The next thing he upended and swam down. All I could see were bubbles, flippers and his bottom!  After a minute or so he surfaced and waving to me started to swim towards the beach where he had entered the water.  I followed walking along the wall, feeding him line so as not to slow his progress.  Sadly I fed him a bit too much line and it snagged a rock and stopped his progress, he realising what had happened swam back to free it.  The next thing I saw was him diving down under again and there was more bubble, flipper and bottom activity. Eventually he started swimming towards the beach again and I followed being more careful in terms of controlling the line.  When we eventually reached the beach he staggered out of the water with a 28lb grouper hanging from his right hand, held by fingers in its eye sockets. To try and hold it any other way risks serious cuts from its sharp fins and gill plates.  In his left hand, and trying to climb over his head was an 18lb octopus!! He spotted that when he swam back to free the snagged line.

I did manage to take a photo of Johnny with the fish and octopus but sadly I haven’t been able to find it.  We became good friends after that and he taught me how to catch decent sized fish during my stay in Gib.  That transformed my experience there.

For whom the bell tolls, know this it tolls for thee!

This is not mine, but it is what it feels like to me!

Went with my daughter Rachel to the Royal Marsden Hospital to get the result of my latest CT scan. I was pleased when I realised I was going to see the top lady consultant, Dr Mary O'Bryan, rather than one of her support team. I thanked her for delaying my chemo so I could attend the family holiday. She kindly let me show her pictures of the family on holiday at Center Parcs and then she got down to business. She said that the CT scans showed that the chemotherapy was not stopping the cancer from spreading and sadly there was nothing more that the Marsden could do for me. 




Wow, there is nothing quite like calling a spade a spade! 




On reflection I was not all that surprised at the scan results, as I had felt pain-wise there was a deterioration, but I did think there might have been a plan B! Dr O'Bryan made it quite clear that there wasn't a plan B that involved treatment at the Marsden and that I should look to support from the Hospice for pain control etc.  Both Rachel and I were a bit upset at this news as there didn't seem to be any room to manoeuvre and we appreciated Karen, the specialist nurse, who popped in to see us and offer her condolences.




Rachel agreed to phone round her siblings with the news but later that day I called them as just speaking to them cheers me up. The following morning I Face Timed with Dan and Holly in the States. If I call them at 09.00 it is 01.00 their time and they are usually up! Dan really cheered me up. He told me about a colleague who's wife was ill with lots of pain until she discovered the medicinal use of marijuana! Apparently it's legal in WA. I was wondering if I could get the doc to prescribe it for me, that and a Jimmy Hendrix CD. 




Then Dan said that an advantage of knowing that your death is fairly imminent is that using modern technology you could arrange to speak at your own funeral! I must say that might appeal to me. Maybe I could even sing and play the guitar? No on second thoughts knowing my ability I think that might be pushing it a bit too far!




On the positive side I am getting slightly better at managing the pain some of the time. People calling, e mailing and visiting help a lot, not only is it nice to have contact and hear their news it also distracts me from thinking about myself. When my neighbour Rick drops in we end up laughing our socks off and a few days ago an old friend Beverley came right out of the blue and brightened up my day.




I enjoyed watching the last night of the BBC Proms Saturday night and I said to Rosalind that this is probably the last time I shall be able to watch it!  A sobering thought!




Thanks for visiting the blog and reading the posts, I am amazed at how much it gets viewed all over the world. I really appreciate the kind comments and it reminds me that I have so many good friends. I truly am blessed.

When I am famous!

Desert Island Discs is a very long running programme on BBC radio 4. It was invented in 1942 by Roy Plomley. The format is simple, a famous guest is asked to select eight records they would like to have with them if they were stranded alone on a desert island. Then they are asked about their life and why they have chosen the records, excerpts of which get played. It is interesting to hear their life stories and why their particular choice of music is important to them.




So in anticipation of a call from the BBC I thought I would prepare my list of records!




1. I Get Around (Beach Boys). This appealed to me in my teens and reminds me of when I saw the Beach Boys live at Tooting Broadway. Years later when I use to drive mini buses full of teenagers to summer camps playing it over the vehicles sound system always got everyone in a holiday mood.

2. MacArthur's Park (Richard Harris). I enjoy the tune and the imaginative lyrics, most famously lost love being likened to an iced cake being left out in the rain! It is long, loud and emotive.

3. Morning Mood, Pierre Gynt (Grieg). This is used as the opening music to the film "The Vikings" and it enhances the amazing scenery of the fjords. Every time I hear the opening bars I can visualise the beauty of the fjords.

4. Rainy Days and Mondays (Carpenters). Almost any one of Karen Carpenters songs could be chosen. I have selected this one because it reminds me of when I would stand at the bus stop on a wet Monday morning and sing it (quietly) to myself. It also reminds me of her untimely death.

5. Killing Me Softly (Roberta Flak). Being a romantic I enjoy the lyrics and would play this, via headphones, whilst working at my drawing board in Gibraltar taking care not to be spotted by my boss!

6. Come, Come Ye Saints (Mormon Tabernacle Choir). This was the first LDS hymn I really got to know. I like the words "And should we die before our journey's through, Happy day! All is well! We then are free from toil and sorrow, too; With the just we shall dwell!"

7. Telegraph Road (Dire Straits). This was introduced to me by Clive Mormon, a splendid fellow who I helped to develop his career as an engineer. I have played it a lot over the last few months usually late at night when I can't sleep. The lyrics are meaningful and clear and the guitar riffs amazing.

8. Jerusalem (as sung at the last night of the BBC Promenade Concerts). I find this inspiring and always try to watch the last night of this amazing British institution.




After the music has been introduced and played the presenter advises that you are stranded on the island with copies of the Bible and the works of Shakespeare and you can select one other book. This is a no brainer for a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and so I would select "The Book of Mormon, another testament of Jesus Christ."




You are then asked as to what luxury would you like to have on the island, my choice will be no surprise as it is Salt Water fly fishing tackle! Equipped with that I would not want to be rescued! Hey ho we can but dream!

Fly Fisherman has a Brush with Art!

Saw Bernie, the specialist nurse at St Christopher's Hospice yesterday for my pain control check up. I showed her a graph of what my previous 24 hours had been like and she advised me to double the OxyContin pills.  I did from 8 pm and they worked effectively till 6 am when I awoke with extreme pain so I had to get up and move about.  Not due the next dose till 8 am so I took some paracetamols and some OxyNorm liquid as top up.  Then I needed something to distract me so I decided to blog. Here goes:-

I had an excellent art master called Kenneth Somers-Yeates at secondary school.  He caned me once for playing the fool when I was around 13 years old but later when I was a prefect we became good friends. He taught me a lot about perspective drawing so from time to time I dabble.

This is a fish picture I painted a long time ago of a fine spotted trout.

Whilst doing voluntary work at the London LDS Temple I painted this view of the Manor House as seen from my bedroom window.  This has been my most reproduced painting as practically everyone who has served on site has requested one.  In the end instead of giving them away I started charging a £5 donation to the Church's Perpetual Education Fund.  This has raised well over £300.

Recently at Center Parcs I painted the view out of the lodge window, not very exciting but the only place I could get comfortable enough to paint.

Exploring Anomalies! This could be controversial?

Maybe it's an age thing or maybe I am just over hypersensitive to what is going on around me but I am amazed and even disconcerted about what I see as anomalies. 




Take for example the vast sums of money spent by local government departments in the UK in installing traffic calming solutions. The most popular of these (popular by the local governments and shock absorber manufacturers not drivers) are speed humps (which more poetically were known as "sleeping policemen"). Why go to the trouble, cost and effort of installing these when letting a random scattering of deep potholes develop, renders the same traffic calming effect for free?












For me another anomaly occurs at dances or discos. Why do people attend dances and disco? Well certainly to dance or at least to jig about, but mainly to meet and get to know other people. Does this happen? Yes, but the efficiency of the process is severely inhibited. What inhibits the process? The "disc jockey"! How do they do it?  By playing the music so loud it is impossible to hold a conversation. This explains why at a noisy disco you see so many people in the corridors or even the car park so they can talk. Sadly it is a self defeating cycle as the DJ on seeing people moving off the dance floor turns the volume higher! Obviously DJs are not equipped to be arbiters of noise levels as the very nature of their job means they are all profoundly deaf anyway!




Years ago it came as a real shock to me when I asked my teenage children if they had enjoyed a particular event such as a friends party or church youth club meeting and they replied "Dad, it was really wicked!" Concerned as to what evil had transpired in this seemingly safe environment I would "water board" them to get to the innocent truth. This current popular use of the word wicked is another anomaly as is the use of the word "cool"! Sitting in a warm and humid chapel last Sunday I was amused by a speaker who kept telling the congregation how cool they were. On reflection maybe that was less of a concern than if he had been saying how "hot" they were!




The use of alcohol to enhance an evening's pleasure leads to the classic anomaly "it must have been a brilliant night out because my head hurts and I can't remember a thing!" I am so glad that in my autumnal years not having been fueled by alcohol I can still remember the good nights out!

Then there is the anomaly of some restaurants imposing a "service charge"! If I see that when ordering I am tempted to ask, "If we serve ourselves can we forgo the service charge?




Mention computers and anomalies and I could prattle on at infinitum. Suffice it to say that if my computerised financial transactions are so secure why is it necessary to have so many system updates and why are there daily news reports of security breaches and people's nest eggs going missing?




Now to risk getting a bit political. In the days when we were either hunters or gatherers or even multi tasking at both, everyone had to make some contribution to the survival of the tribe. Some of us are old enough to almost remember, no work, no eat. So everyone had to do their bit; kids collecting firewood, elderly people watching children and most surprisingly even teenagers working! Probably even the weak, sick or dysfunctional were expected to make some sort of contribution. No contribution, no dinner! So here today, in the so called civilised world, the anomaly is that often we actually pay people to do nothing! When we do that we deny them the satisfaction of experiencing the feeling of being needed and of a "job well done"! So what stops us helping everyone find a working role, I suggest it is mainly a lack of imagination. 




When I worked in Africa I was amazed at how some of the locals could make something to sell out of nothing.  Once I was invited to stay at the home of the architect I was working for in Lusaka, Zambia. He lived at Leopards Hill, the posh part and his estate had a swimming pool, squash court and everything else you could desire.  One of the reception rooms in the house was huge, two storeys high and was equipped like a museum. On the floor were a number of very large models, in metal, of vehicles beautifully hand crafted.  I asked the owner about them and he said that one day there was a knock on the door and a local gentleman said "Mr Andrews here is a model of your Toyota Land Cruiser I have made for you".  Andy was impressed with the size (it was at least 4 feet long) and the craftsmanship (it was all made out of recycled coke cans metal, oil drum metal etc).  Andy felt he had to buy it as it was so good.  A month later the same man appeared but this time with an equally beautiful, huge model of Andy's wife's car.  The following month it was a beautiful model of the family's tractor and so it went on until Andy pulled the plug.  I cite this because it shows an interesting use of initiative.



Well I have run out of steam now but I bet you have your own list of anomalies!