Sitting comfortable for a few hours whilst the chemicals drip into my body!Things on the health front have progressed (downhill) so fast this year that I still cannot believe it. What started as a pain in my side and progressed to shortness of breath has been diagnosed as pleural mesothelioma and left me feeling rough (ill) most of the time! Most of this distress is caused by the chemotherapy which I have been told is palliative only. That means (and I had to look it up) that it might slow the cancer down but it won't cure it (unless all our prayers and all your prayers are answered with a miracle). I am sitting here with the forth dose of two chemicals being dripped into my veins. The week after the third dose I felt so bad I questioned as to whether I should continue. Then things get slightly better and yesterday I attended the pre-chemo health check and chat with Doctor Anna. She was very open and honest confirming that the chemo would not cure me, and that my recent CT scan did not show if it was doing any good because the biopsy operation scarring masked things. She said that the more chemo sessions I had the more unpleasant my body's response would be. She said there were three options going forward, carry on, stop the chemo or continue the chemo at a reduced strength. We agreed to carry on the chemo at a reduced strength so that is why I am sitting here now having had Ming the excellent lady nurse warm up my arm with the electric blanket, slip in the cannula and connect me to the machine that meters the poisons into my body.I guess the real question is "Will the extension of life provided by the chemo be worth the miserable discomfort caused by the chemo?" As the extension of life is not known it is a hard call to make. However, the kind support of family and friends, through visits, e mails, phone calls and cards does tend to make me want to be around a bit longer! So let's see how this session goes!!!
The discomfort you feel is not minor Allan, Rosalind was at the enrichment where Charlotte and the missionary couple talked about the oils, if there were any chance of it working wouldn't you want to at least try it? I know this is a very personal decision with lots of factors so I don't really expect you to answer it, but on a personal note, my Aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a double mastectomy. The doctors advised her to follow on with chemotherapy. She weighed up all the possible side effects and decided against doing it. She felt that she would prefer a possibly shorter life with better quality of life than a prolonged miserable life. Just a thought. We pray for you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Dianne very kind and helpful
ReplyDeleteOh Alan how I wish I could just sit down and talk to you. I know exactly how you are feeling as I have been in the same boat. I know how dibilataty the Chemo treatment is. I almost gave up on my last dose but having prayed and prayed about it the answer I got was to go on with it, which I did. None of it worked other than it might have slowed things down a bit. My Carcer is slow growing but grow it does. I now feel I did the right thing in carying on because I feel if I hadn't I would always thought to myself. "What if, maybe if I had taken the last session it would have taken it out" Now I know that I did the best I could and now it is in The Lord's hands. My Cancer Started in my abdomin. It is endometrial Cancer. it is now mainly in and around my lungs. My lung doctor has advised me that I need to live just one day at a time. He has explained my prognosis but now he says that I have to try and live in denial and enjoy each day as it comes. He says I have already experianced miracles. They told me over a year ago that I had only one to six months to live. They have managed to catch the blood clots and put that to rest. They have drained the fluid around my left lung twice, each time that could have taken me out but it didn't. He originally told me not to dwell on what I have been told or I will go crazy and he said you will die. You will die of being crazy. He also reminded me that we are all going to die and no one knows when. So Alan that is what I am trying to do. Prepairing for the worse but living to the best of my ability wearing a pair of blinders. There are days when I do feel down, but on the whole I do quite well. Roger Feraira from Kingston gave me a Priesthood Blessing while we were asigned to the Kingston Ward while we were on our Mission. This was during the time I was going through the Pelvic Radiation. In the Blessing I was told that I would have the strength to go through all of the trials I would be involved in and when I came through the other side of it I would never have any doubts I would know for a surety that Jesus was the Christ and that He was watching over me. Well Alan the trials have continued but through it all I Pray Pray and Pray again and I do Know that I am Blessed in many ways and I do know That Father in Heaven and His son Jesus Christ are there for me. I do hope Alan that this long dialogue has not been too much for you, as I said I do know what you are going through. I also know how you must be feeling about Rosalind as I know that my biggest sadness is thinking about my dear John and how things would be for him if I was no longer with him. I am so thankful that our Knowledge of The Gospel gives us the hope of eventually being with each other again never to be apart but it does not take the sadness of the temporary parting away. Again the blinders need to go on and we need to enjoy the time we have. My Prayers are with you and with Rosalind and your family at this time. Much Love Roz.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this prayers and hugs coming your way... Thank you for your care for your family, Heavenly Father and as one o those who's lives your's has touched at church... Thank you is not enough really... Prayers said
ReplyDeleteLydia, I still smile when I remember your needle threading skit
DeleteI watched both of my parents endure chemotherapy in their 80s, then ultimately die anyway. I don't think I would pursue chemo if I were in the same state. For them the chemo weakened their bodies so much and provided neither comfort or cure. My fear is that some doctors are only selling hope. No matter what, I wish you the best of luck & comfort to you and your family!
ReplyDeleteThose of us in Redmond are praying for you too, Brother Carter! Our best to you and your lovely family.
ReplyDeleteOh I do miss Redmond and you lovely folks, the rivers, mountains and sea. You are spoilt for choice so enjoy!
DeleteWaiting for the results from my mum's first follow up CT scan. We'll find out on Thursday whether the chemo has had any effect. Then mum and her oncologist will discuss if she wants to carry on with it.
ReplyDeleteI wish you and your Mum well, reducing the chemo dose has helped me feel a bit more human this time, but the jury is still out on whether it is making a difference. So it's take one day at a time and try to find something to smile about!
DeleteHi Alan,
ReplyDeleteTim Myers here from Redmond. I'm always fond of your cheery smile and spirit. I think it has been passed on to your grandson with whom I've had the pleasure to work with in scouting. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Warm regards,
Tim
Tim,
DeleteSo nice to hear from you. I am glad Harrison is involved in Scouting as I have benefitted from the practical things it taught me and have treasured memories of the adventures! Scouting has taken an upturn in popularity here ever since they made Bear Grills an outdoor survival specialist Chief Scout.
So sorry to hear you've been poorly Alan! Have very fond memories of you growing up in Wandsworth/Maidstone stake. Our family has always thought of you as a very friendly, witty and warm person. Thank you again for taking the time to compere at dad's memorial concert - you did such a fine job ����. Hope the chemo is doing some good for you!!! Thoughts and prayers your way.
ReplyDeleteChristina (O'Dea).