Sunday 22 November 2015

Slowly going down hill

It's Sunday 22nd November and I'm lying in bed dictating to my son Gareth who has kindly offered to act as scribe. It's been a good weekend, yesterday I had visits from Jason, Rachel, Naomi and Lorraine. Today my son Gareth has babysat me so that Ros could get to church and he could let the district nurse in to reload my syringe driver. This afternoon I had my brother in law John Miller together with my son Stuart and Steve Faulkner from church visit. Steve came to give me the sacrament which was appreciated. I am finding it increasingly difficult to be out of bed because the change of orientation sets the pain off badly sometimes so much so that I end up vomiting. It's not all doom and gloom I do manage to smile and laugh occasionally. Also we do make a bit of progress yesterday Jason converted an old cardboard box into a blanket cradle to stop the blankets from pressing on my toenails causing bruising. Also my daughter Lorraine brought me a big V shapped pillow which helps support me in a more comfortable position. The district nurses continue to do their very best to support me and help me be comfortable. I still managed to enjoy the programmes on the BBC iPlayer. I particularly enjoy nature programmes and documentaries. Sometimes just for a brief period I am able to forget all my challenges and immerse myself in the programme. I apologise if this has been a boring post but I'm sorry that how it is dying can be a boring process. I just count my blessings that I am not lying in a burnt out basement somewhere waiting for relief that isn't going to come.

9 comments:

  1. You can still make me smile Alan Carter !! So pleased to see you are still able to find a little positivity and that your faith is supporting you. Thinking of you mate. DJ

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  2. Peter and I send our kindest wishes to you Alan and often think of you and all the family. I appreciate being able to read your posts. xxxxxx Peter & Pauline Evans x

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  3. Sending you our love from the States. We are always so grateful for your friendship and the warm welcome you gave us in Selsdon--it made quite a difference in finding our place there. Sarah & Jack Grainger xxx

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  4. Boring? Never, never,never Alan. You are one in millions - a shining star and a source of inspiration to so very many. Love, thoughts and prayers dear friend.

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  5. This dying thing really sucks. Try and get permission to come back and haunt me. I deserve it and I'm sure you will remain good company anyway. Neil Sheppard x

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  6. Alan - one of our friends is going in for a life threatening operation. I told my young 7 year old daughter to pray for her. She said these words " Father in Heaven - I really hope Jayne has fun in her operation!" - Well may I speak for my 7 year old, that I can't think of anyone else who represents fun more clearly than you do. Sending all our love to you from NZ! Special place in our hearts.

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  7. Thanks everyone for the comments, it does help to know you are not alone.

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  8. Thinking of you and sending lots of love your way.

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  9. Alan, there are probably several thousand people who know you and will regret not having the power to do something, but that is in the Lord's hands alone. I have always enjoyed meeting up with you and you will leave a hole in my life - although an understatement compared to your kin. When we face death we then know the quality of all the other events and deeds of our life – the time for effort is past and absolutely out of reach. We then know that everything we have done up to that point is only important as a qualifier for who we are and what lies ahead. That all that really matters is love, honoured and sustained. Alan, I WILL be where you are now, one day, sooner or later and it will suck. I can only hope I will see with eyes that are as firmly bright and hopeful; that in looking back, I can look ahead with as much expectation. I am blessed by knowing you, God bless you for your example, your legacy and future in your family is immense. Mark Pengilley xx

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