Alan Carter - Eulogy

Our much loved husband and father, and author of this blog, Alan Carter, passed away on Christmas Day 2015. Below is the eulogy that was delivered at his funeral yesterday, which was attended by over 200 people that knew and loved him. We would like to thank all those that took the time to read and comment on Alan’s posts – he got a lot of joy out of communicating and connecting with others. This will be the last item we post on this site. I may continue to share a few stories about him via my blog site, tallrachel@wordpress.com, if you want to follow. Love Rachel and the rest of the Carter family.

Rachel:
It is really wonderful to see so many people that knew and loved my Dad here today. It has been very challenging for Jason and I to try and capture all of the things we would like to tell you about our Dad, as there is so much, but we hope that what we will say will give you the essence of our Dad, your friend, and show his larger than life character. I’m going to start with some background on his life and then hand over to Jason who will delve into some more details.
Alan was born on 10th March 1946 to Irene and Edward Carter in Putney. Alan’s younger brother Chris noticed that Alan was very inquisitive at taking things apart like clocks and putting them back together again, after which they still worked! At age 10 he built a tree house (his first of many) in the woods in Wimbledon Park.
Alan and Chris spent some time in their childhood living on a farm in Kent which Alan loved. The boys built another tree house, had catapults, made crossbows and made dens by hollowing out tunnels in hay stacks. The boys built a raft with 4 oil drums to go onto the farm pond in the middle of winter. When it turned over Alan saved his brother Christopher’s life as he could not swim, Alan had to rescue him and get him to the bank. They were both frozen and had to stagger across several fields back to the farm house.
Alan was made Vice School Captain age 16, and at the same age had his first contact with the church. This was via a school friend who had the missionaries coming round to visit, and the plan was they were going to make fun of some Americans, having not met many at that point. His mother also warned him saying ‘Let me tell you something Alan, Americans are very good salespeople!’
However, as soon as Alan entered the room he had a strong impression that he should be quiet, listen to what they had to say and not play the fool. The missionaries then taught him and his mother and within 6 weeks he had been baptised a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, which proved to be a defining point in his life. Between 1964 and 1966 Alan with many other members were involved with building the Wandsworth Chapel.

Around the age of 17 Alan noticed a young lady that had started attending Church each week. Each week he would say ‘Hi Ros, how are you today?’ until finally her friend Judy said, ‘I think Alan likes you’. They began dating, and Alan eventually baptised Ros on her 18th birthday. These were fun times for Alan and Ros with a strong network of friends. They formed a folk group with another couple, the Cary’s and played at some church events. Alan and Ros later married in 1967 and had a honeymoon in Austria.

In Alan’s teenage years he was involved with the Scouting programme that ran from Wandsworth Chapel as a leader.  While looking through family photo albums I found one entitled ‘Alan’s Adventures’ which contained pictures of a speedboat built by boys of the 19th Balham and Tooting LDS Scout Group in 1963. Other pictures were of caving, pulling cars out of rivers and rope swings over rivers. There’s no doubt that these early scouting experiences paved the way for Dads future leadership roles at church youth camps.
On the career front, Alan had left school and started work at the age of 17 as an Apprentice Heating, Ventilating and Fan Engineer. Once qualified Alan worked his way up through the ranks to becoming chief draughtsman. During this time Alan took up an exciting opportunity to work for the Department of the Environment in Gibraltar, moving out there with a small family which included Jason and myself. These 3 years were full of exciting fishing expeditions. One of Dad’s famous stories that we heard repeated often was of his first fishing experience in Gibraltar. He was excited to fish there, but after an unsuccessful first day approached a local chap fishing, who gave him some pointers, then as he caught a large fish and was struggling to land it, asked Dad to hold his road, while he grabbed his flippers and dived into the sea. Dad was left wrestling with this rod, watching a huge fracas of bubbles and flippers, until finally the chap emerges, gripping a huge fish by the eye sockets in one hand, and, over his other shoulder, an octopus. They became great friends after this first dramatic introduction.
Alan helped establish a small branch of the Church in Gibraltar with the other couple of families there and Alan also had responsibility for the missionaries for the church that were sent there. The missionaries were often getting into scrapes, as things were sensitive as the border was closed with Spain, and dad would have to go and get the missionaries out of the police station were they had been locked up after wandering into the middle of a military exercise at night. Whilst in Gibraltar Daniel was born. A few months after returning, Gareth was born. The day Gareth was blessed Alan was called as Bishop of Croydon Ward. This chapel wasn’t built at that point so lots of early meetings were held at their house.
By Jan 1977 Naomi was born, taking it up to 5 children and Alan was released as Bishop. Dad started doing a degree course in Environmental Engineering at night school whilst working for the Department of the Environment. Dad did his studying in his bedroom using a piece of chipboard as a desk.  This was held up at one end by the windowsill and a chair at the other end. His hard-work paid off and he got top of the class with his degree. Through his studies and experience he became a chartered engineer, a member of the Institute of Mechanical Engineers and a member of the Chartered Institute of Building Services Engineers.

I do recall around this time we had many fun if modest holidays, going to Cornwall, South Wales and Brittany.  Holidays were usually camping and we would set off with a 14 foot canoe strapped to the roof of our car.

In 1980 3rd daughter Lorraine was born, and in Nov 1982 Alan was called as Bishop of the newly formed Croydon 2nd ward. One of Alan’s counsellors at this time said he enjoyed the experience immensely and learnt much from Alan’s attention to detail, vision of, and drive for the Lords’ work.  Finally in 1983 their 4th son and 7th and last child Stuart was born.

Dad took the decision to leave the civil service and joined North Thames Gas, Special Projects Group, where he had interesting projects at properties such as 10 Downing Street. He then went on to a Director role with Dewest Limited, and then as Managing Director of his own consultancy firm. Alan’s firm was contracted by the church to work on the London Temple renovation project in 1990.
 He then merged his business with ABS, a larger consultancy, where he spent time in Lusaka, Zambia. Of course he made time to fish the Zambezi River while he was out there. He was then head-hunted to work for Trillium in various roles over 11 years, managing a team of 50 and running the technical services department for 40% of the DWP buildings across the UK. Whilst at Trillium Alan set up a fly-fishing club called the Trillium Drifters. On a couple of occasions they took wounded service men out on special boats. The HR department at Trillium said it was the most successful work social club they’d ever had.
Dad always found time to do other things than just work. He was involved with a political party for a time, and would have us help delivering leaflets. He certainly didn’t need any encouragement with the megaphone when it was time for canvassing. In later times he was involved as a parent Governor for our old secondary school, eventually becoming Vice-Chair and Chair. He served with the school for a total of 19 years and arranged community service projects and other things such as having a former astronaut come and speak to the school-children.
Once Dad had retired from ABS he and mum enjoyed some great holidays in US with Daniel’s family, The also spent 6 months serving at the church’s Temple near East Grinstead, and also did the rounds visiting of all us children, prior to each visit Dad would ask us what jobs needed doing, he would come and make himself useful!
In more recent times Mum and Dad were working at Hyde Park chapel as part of our church’s employment programme helping people into work. This was a natural good fit for Dad and even when he was ill at home he was still thinking of ways to help people that were looking for work.
I’d like to share some of my personal thoughts and memories. My Dad’s ability to lead has always impressed me, he was a natural, easy-going leader of people.
He was enthusiastic, energetic and effusive. He didn’t mind being a little bit controversial and rocking the boat if he felt it was needed.  I remember the roadshows where he would get everyone involved, it was a real bonding experience. He would co-ordinate – and ensure there was a director, a script, someone working on the scenery. You would be there at every rehearsal, not interfering, just supporting. And on the night, he was there to make sure there was organisation, that every prop and piece of scenery would be set up on stage in the time given.
He was a master at putting up a huge 40 foot canvas back-drop, up a ladder. Nothing phased him, not even the request one year to have a huge ‘computer’ the size of a person crash in from the ceiling. ‘Let’s build it with boxes, stuff it with newspaper to make it really heavy, winch it up with a rope’ you said, and at the right moment you let the rope go and it crashed onto the stage, achieving the desired effect.
He always had the respect of my friends and peers and could strike the balance between being firm but fair. I remember Scott Hawkins saying to me at one youth camp that my Dad had threatened him with a ‘clip round the ear’. He said that he wouldn’t take a clip round the ear off anyone but he would take one off my Dad. (I’m sure he did something to deserve it). Also his ability to be innovative and brave – he would come up with ideas for activities and events that had never happened before, and he would pull them off with flair, and minimal stress. He displayed many great leadership traits, and even today his example inspires me, and will do so for the rest of my life. He was an example of hard work, serving others, and being a high achiever in things that matter. I also have to acknowledge my mother who supported him behind the scenes and enabled him to get out and do all the things he did.
Dad’s natural desire to connect with people and to help others connect together was demonstrated to me on my last visit to see him a few days before he died. He was very weak and couldn’t speak much, but he still made the effort to introduce the nurse when she came to see him to me. It was always really important to him to help people connect. Nearly 10 years ago for Dad’s 60th birthday we did a ‘This is Your Life’ evening. The next day he called me to thank me for the evening. I tried explaining to him that we thought he was really special and had done some amazing things, he brushed it off and said he thought he was just ordinary.
Dad you were anything but ordinary. You were extraordinary. I feel incredibly blessed to have had the Dad I had. All my life lessons I have learnt from my Dad. He is my role model, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to be more like him.


Jason:
Having Alan Carter as your Dad was exciting and filled with adventures.  We had tree-houses, go-carts, hammocks and dens in the woods.  If there was a family walk it involved, some of us going ahead and ‘setting up an ambush’.
When Dad was a teenager he had a part time job as a plumbers mate.  He was told one time by the plumber to go and get some ‘elbow grease’.  So he went to the hardware store to the amusement of the shop keeper he asked for some ‘elbow grease’.  But through his life Dad worked hard and played hard so perhaps he found a hardware store that sold elbow grease.

At school Alan was a bit of a practical joker and used to throw tennis balls soaked in ink at the girls playing netball in the adjacent girls’ school.  Trying to hit the girls on their thighs.  He would still smile when he told that story in his sixties.

Dad was skilled with his hands and good at art at school and later in life continued that hobby.  As a child he used to make toys for me out of wood such as forts and gun emplacements that I would play with my toy soldiers on.  One Christmas I got a wooden glider dad made by hand like the ones used to capture Pegasus Bridge at D-day.  It was well made and hinged in the middle with a catch and made so that my dinky air-borne jeep and 6 pounder anti-tank gun fitted inside just like the real ones.  My brother Daniel got a landing craft with hinged ramp.  You could not get these in the shops.  These were toys that were put together in a garage in winter with great love.
Dad worked hard to make Christmas special for the family. Dad would to hate to think that anyone would be alone at Christmas and would invite them to our home.  He was naturally open and inclusive, inviting friends and neighbours to church events without thinking twice. When we were walking around Keston ponds there was an abandoned raft that was made out of what looked like plywood floor boards.  I remember it was winter and we had to get the plywood out of the ice.  The wood was strapped to the top of the car and it was taken home.  Dad worked on it and it became our trainset board that folded down onto my bed, a practical solution to space management in that I shared my bedroom with 2 brothers at the time.
Dad also had a strong work ethic, not only of hard work but also of the importance of career development. Dad always believed in people, that they were capable, and treated us as adults. By giving us opportunities to work for him. My brother Daniel said: ‘The opportunities I had as a child programming a ZX Spectrum and then using your Apple Mac doing CAD drawings and Excel Spreadsheets meant I had considerably more skills in computers than most adults at the age of 16. I didn't really realize how advanced I was compared to others till I started working. Your active encouragement helped shape many of the capabilities I have today and gave me confidence.  Dad was a member of a committee in the Chartered Institute of Building Services Engineers (CIBSE).  He put my brothers Daniel and Gareth to work who wrote software to calculate Energy Demand on Buildings.  This was then published by CIBSE.
Dad got me a computer to use at University.  As this was back in the early 1990s it was an Amstrad computer.  We did not know that before you moved it you had to park the hard-drive.  So when Dad moved it to Bristol University, where I was studying it broke.  Dad took the time to work out why it was not working and got it fixed.  Alan Sugar for making computers like that – Your fired!
This encouragement in careers extended to all Dad had contact with, to quote a few lines from some of my friends and peers in letters to my Dad:
Jamie : ‘At one point, early on in my working life, when I was unsure about which direction to take, he found me a job surveying the heating systems in the British Museum. I learnt that helping someone, with no expectation of reward, is in itself the most rewarding. I also found out that so long as you put your mind to the task at hand, it is remarkable what you can achieve. This gave me the confidence to successfully adjust my career on a few occasions, and be adaptable in my working life.’
Charlie : ‘Alan gave me my first song writing job. He paid me sixty pounds. I got quite a few song writing jobs from him and it gave me real experience. He got me in to listening to talk tapes and gave me my first book on how to start my own business.’

Michael Hunt: ‘Alan told me to leave my brother-in-law’s business and go and find a real job – I’m pleased to report that advice was followed and all is well on that front.’
My Dad helped a lot of people, and over the last few months of my Dad’s illness we have had many letters from people that he helped over the years. These are all very touching and moving.
He had a creative approach to helping people, wouldn’t just ask if people needed help, would figure out a way he could help them. He helped a lot of people. And as children we would see him visiting others and helping others. He did this because he genuinely wanted to help.
Dad was frequently involved in youth and young single adult activities in church.  I remember that when he was called as Bishop of Croydon 2nd Ward he took me to visit all the youth on the church records in the ward to invite them to be involved in church activities.  Dad as Bishop was actively involved in the youth programme.  We did roadshows which were like 25 minute plays that gave us all experience in acting, singing, dancing, scenery painting, costume making etc.  We even won the roadshow competition one year which was an achievement as we were a small ward in the Stake.
We also built a 2 man Kayak as a project that was made of beautiful varnished wood with clear fibre glass joints.  We kayaked in rivers and in the sea with it.
Dad would often take his children and friends to church dances and activities.  As a parent of teenagers now I am beginning to appreciate the time that this takes.  By actively being involved he knew what was going on and encouraged us to do wholesome activities.  Dad was encouraging the youth of the church to build a positive peer group that supported and strengthened each other.  Dad felt that being involved and joining the church when he was 16 was a pivotal moment in his life and wished to give others the same opportunity.
One young man wrote of my Dad ‘I remember my mother was worried about me one night as I hadn't come home from seeing this girl in Orpington and it was around 1am and all the buses had stopped and so she called my Bishop (Alan Carter) and there he was at around 1:30 driving up to Orpington to go and find me and he met me somewhere in Penge. This was before the night bus routes started. He didn't tell me off he simply smiled and told me to call my mother in future and or him if I got in to trouble again..... I made sure I also got the bus when dating that girl
I got in to trouble a couple of times and he told me off for skiving school and gave me a lecture about honesty and I never did it again.
He took me to an old ladies home with a bunch other young men and we cleared her garden and this kind of activity we did time and time again. I learned a lot about service because of him.
He took us into the woods near Selsdon and played all kind of games, throwing flour bombs and eggs at each other and I totally loved him for it.’
Dad would organise trips to Box Hill to do raft racing in the river Mole or climbing along a rope over the river.  He was involved in many church camps and was a great organiser.
Dad arranged the borrowing of tents from the Inner London Education Authority for camps.  When the Inner London Education Authority was closed by the government Dad got the tents rather than them being thrown away.  These were used by the local church Scout group and other church camps.  Dad acted as the church Scout Group Quartermaster looking after the tents and other camping equipment.
He organised youth Easter weekend trips to the Isle of Wight.
He put forward to church leaders that we could have a Young single Adult camp with the church unit from Paris in Normandy.  This was successful and there was a camp the following year in Kent.   There was a couple of weddings as a result of these activities. Sometimes Dad would get too carried away.  When giving a talk to young single adults in church he said that swimming was an appropriate activity because you could ‘check out’ members of the opposite sex in their swimming costume.  Dad later got a phone call that night from President Martin his church leader who had received a call from at least one lady that did not want to be checked out in a swim suit.
Alan was an exciting Dad to have.
Dad really liked his fishing, he did lots of sea fishing in Gibraltar and had a boat that had an unreliable engine.  He was in his boat in Gibraltar Harbour when he saw a sailor looking quite miserable by the side of the dock.  He asked him what was wrong.  The sailor said that he had missed the jolly boat back to his ship.  Dad asked him what ship he was on, when told it was HMS so and so and thinking it was in the harbour he said he would take the sailor to the ship.  Dad turned around and the ship was not where he expected it to be in the Harbour.  It was in ‘the cut’, which is outside the harbour and in disputed waters between the Gibraltar and Spain.  Dad was worried the engine would stop and he would be blown onto the Spanish shore as the wind was blowing that way.  This would mean he would be in trouble with Spanish Authorities as the border with Spain was closed and there was a lot of tension over Gibraltar’s sovereignty then.  So he said to the sailor I will not be able to stop the boat because if I do it might not start again and I will be blown onto Spain.  So he took his boat alongside the frigate and the sailor had to jump up to get his hands over the stern and pull himself onto his ship.  As Dad sailed back the officer on duty acknowledged my Dad.
In holidays we would go fishing and have the excitement of climbing along steep slopes loaded down with fishing rods and gear to get to remote fishing marks.
Back in the UK Dad took up fly fishing, it helped him relax and he enjoyed the outdoors.  Over the years he became quite a good fly fisherman.  He even did a bit of Salmon fly fishing and then took course to become a fly fishing instructor.  I remember fishing with my Dad in the summer on reservoirs such as Bewl Water in Kent.  In the twilight bats would sometimes go after the artificial fly as you were casting.  We still today have some frozen trout that Dad had caught when fishing locally to us.  He would take some of his grandchildren fishing which they enjoyed.  Dad enjoyed visiting Daniel in Seattle because of the good Salmon fishing there.
When I was small we would wrestle with my Dad on the lawn.  We always enjoyed his company.  Dad was really excited when I got my mission call to New Zealand.  He got me a referral in Christchurch 12,000 miles away, it wasn’t just a name and address to check but a dinner appointment from a couple that were expecting us.  As a good Mormon missionary my companion and I left our kind hosts with a copy of the Book of Mormon.
Dad was incredibly outgoing getting to know neighbours several doors away.
Dad really sucked the marrow out of life as he did so much. Whilst he passed away at the age of 69 he had achieved so much in his life.  We will miss all his expressions, ‘Freak out’, ‘B-E-D’ (when sending his children to bed), ‘it’s not a problem it’s only a challenge’, ‘Isn’t it exciting!’
If he had any regrets it will be that he went in buildings with asbestos.
I am grateful to my Mum and Dad for being such great parents and we love them both greatly.
We are comforted by the knowledge that, ‘As in Adam all die, so shall in Christ all be made alive again,’.  We will get to be together as a family again after this life.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Downhill at high velocity!

Just to update you on the situation I am really not making a lot of progress. I am going downhill rather rapidly. On the positive front a new hospital bed has arrived and was rapidly installed by a couple of nice chaps. It fits nicely into a corner of my bedroom. It has all the tipping and lifting functions but best of all it has a special air mattress. This is connected to a compressor which chugs along quietly changing the shape of the mattress helping to prevent bed sores and keep me comfortable. It takes a bit of getting used to but overall it is a great improvement.  I usually manage to get into a comfortable position. I don't know how long I've got now but the nurses as they increase the pain relief drugs are careful to leave a well documented trail so I'm not sure if this will be the last message you get from me but I will do my best to post another because you've all been very good readers all around the world. I know that my Redeemer lives and that one day we can all meet up again. This didn't all happen by accident. We have to be part of a bigger plan, and that comforts me. God bless you, Alan Carter. (Typed by Rachel)

I am overwhelmed by all the messages of concern and support

Well I have made it to Sunday 6th December which is a surprise to me as I have felt so poorly. They keep upping the pain relief medication but often the pain wins the competition. Practically every night round about 12 midnight we telephone the district nurse and they come and give me two injections one is to calm me down and the other is to make me want to go to sleep. Around about twenty minutes after this I am dead to the world and then wake up about 6:30 in loads of pain and Rosalind gives me my top up pain relief tablets. Because I can only sleep on my back, other positions hurt too much, we are having a hospital bed delivered hopefully on Monday it will also have one of these special mattresses connected to an air pump that keeps the matress changing shape, hopefully not too energetically.

Please forgive me if I don't respond to your individual messages of support on Facebook I just do not have the energy but I do appreciate the interest and concern that everyone shows. I was so pleased to hear that our good friend Ros Trevor had slipped away in her sleep that would have been a great relief to her and hopefully closure for the family well done Ros.

Thanks to my son Gareth for typing this blog post for me.

Slowly going down hill

It's Sunday 22nd November and I'm lying in bed dictating to my son Gareth who has kindly offered to act as scribe. It's been a good weekend, yesterday I had visits from Jason, Rachel, Naomi and Lorraine. Today my son Gareth has babysat me so that Ros could get to church and he could let the district nurse in to reload my syringe driver. This afternoon I had my brother in law John Miller together with my son Stuart and Steve Faulkner from church visit. Steve came to give me the sacrament which was appreciated. I am finding it increasingly difficult to be out of bed because the change of orientation sets the pain off badly sometimes so much so that I end up vomiting. It's not all doom and gloom I do manage to smile and laugh occasionally. Also we do make a bit of progress yesterday Jason converted an old cardboard box into a blanket cradle to stop the blankets from pressing on my toenails causing bruising. Also my daughter Lorraine brought me a big V shapped pillow which helps support me in a more comfortable position. The district nurses continue to do their very best to support me and help me be comfortable. I still managed to enjoy the programmes on the BBC iPlayer. I particularly enjoy nature programmes and documentaries. Sometimes just for a brief period I am able to forget all my challenges and immerse myself in the programme. I apologise if this has been a boring post but I'm sorry that how it is dying can be a boring process. I just count my blessings that I am not lying in a burnt out basement somewhere waiting for relief that isn't going to come.

It is a real challenge! Sadly not a reel one!

Since coming out of the hospice things have been a bit challenging with  pain and bilious attacks  so much so they have fitted me with the syringe driver again.  This means I get two visits a day from the  district nurses, one to load the syringe and the other to check it is working OK before I go to sleep. Rosalind is a star, as I needed some Oxcynorm in tablet form, she phoned round several pharmacy still she found one at New Addington with a stock. Hurray, it's good to know you have it.

Whilst Ros was out the door bell rang and I managed to get downstairs. It was Seth from church and he had arranged to visit Saturday pm.  We were able to catch up with each other's news till Ros joined us.  Seth brought good news, he had changed his job

Because it is getting quite painful for me to type on the tablet keyboard with my right hand and my left hand shakes a bit I have been experimenting with the voice recognition function. This has led to some hysterical text.  I will try to include some next time.

Back at the Ranch but not riding horses!

Well my spell at the wonderful St Christophers Hospice had to come to an end! Fortunately I did not leave there in a coffin, Rosalind collected me in our car.  What was achieved at SCH whilst I was there?

• I learnt how kind and caring and professional the staff at St Christopher's are and the wonderful resources they have.
• They improved my pain control and taught me more on how to manage it. They progressed me from tablets to syringe driver and finally onto patches.
• Eventually they got me eating most of the time without vomiting. And I learnt to avoid bending low after eating, to put slippers on, if I wanted to keep my stomach contents in my stomach!
• They freed up my internal plumbing so my waste disposal system is working.
• The physio showed me that a very gentle massage can be a pleasant experience and then she showed Rosalind how to do it.

I feel I made a lot of friends there and I was sad to leave them.  They had spoilt me rotten! They gave me 5-star treatment,  Well I ask you where else are you going to get at 3am for free, a top up dose of pain relief medicine followed by one of the following:-

• A cup of Horlics with biscuits or
• A glass of apples juice with biscuits or
• A small tub of ice cream or
• A slice of toast with butter and marmalade

Yes it was like being on cloud nine in heaven or the garden of Eden. 

After a bumpy drive home (I think the local government bodies are letting the roads deteriorate so our friends from Eastern Europe feel more at home), we arrived at No 5!  My first move was to go out the back door to see how the garden was, this turned out to be a bad move! Bending down to put on my gardening shoes set off a bout of vomiting and I fertilised several flower beds! It will be interesting to see what the results are. Maybe I could transform the whole horticultural scene! Anyway I staggered down the garden frightening Eudeen, our next door neighbor, who was putting the finishing touches to the wonderful landscaping she has had done. She kindly offered to get me back to the house but I managed on my own and crawled into bed.

Later that day our friends from the Church's Self-Reliance Centre, the Baxter's came to visit after a horrendous drive out of London. They arrived just in time for dinner, but sadly the smell of the lovely lamb stew set me off retching (that's vomiting when nothing comes up)! So I declined dinner but we did have a wonderful chat. After they had gone I managed to take my pills and to take in an episode of Doc Martin without ejecting anything!

I slept well and woke up in time to take my morning pills, vomit a bit and then have a welcome visit from Kate one of the District Nurses. She was amazing and explained that the vomiting was probably caused by my travelling and being in a different environment. She also explained that the large box of   medicines, syringes and other medical kit I had come home with was "just in case" stuff for use by the District or Hospice Nursing teams. Amazing!

I manage a few sips of soup and a slice of buttered bread for lunch and kept it down, hurray! Then Malcolm Ball and his wife Julie came to visit and I had a wonderful two hours with Malcolm helping me to remember all the people we had worked with and some of the exciting challenges we had overcome!  Tears filled my eyes as Malcolm thanked me for being a positive influence in his work at British Gas and I thanked him for introducing me to Emstar an introduction that helped me grow my consultancy business. Those were the days! I have been very blessed to have worked with some wonderful people.

If you did work with me or you know me and would like to remember some shared experiences and challenges do drop me a line. The best way is an old fashion e mail to ajec@hotmail,com  Facebooks OK but I am not very good at it.

Who has been helping me at St Christopher's!

When thanking people by name there is always the risk that you leave someone out, so let me apologise to those folk for starters. I have not been wearing my glasses, so I have only been able to read names when staff have got quite close (now you ladies know it was not your bosom I was looking at, just your name badge). So here, in no particular order are the stars of St Christophers as seen by me.  However, I must not forget the chefs and their teams in the kitchen, real heroes at producing such excellent cuisine. Then there are wonderful army of volunteers, bless them and last but not lease the professionals social workers, medics and "head shrinkers"! Bless them all.

Anke - the boss, very popular with staff and patients.
Dr Victor - very good and kind

Louis - super woman (such a fast mover)
Sue - the angel of the night (with the hot drinks)

Vee - doesn't like being called Vilma
Maggie - come to help from the Ward upstairs

Marjorie - gentle and kind
Rita - who very kindly asks what I would like for breakfast
Sheryle - great happy singer

Grace - dynamic.  dinner lady

Elaine -- l am the boss, so behave yourself
Christine - a kind and gentle lady 

Dianne - quick like a road runner bird

Debbie - very helpful and kind

Geraldine - happy soul who forgets to wear her name badge!

Esther - nothing is too much trouble!

Kenny - an orderly, orderly very friendly

Geraldine- cleaning expert with a smile

Michelle - a kind person

Colleen - one of 9 siblings, a happy soul!

Angela - the water lady, very dedicated

Katy - very pretty, lovely accent

Sarah - very organised gave me a bath

Susan, helper who takes lunch orders

Jill - where is Jack?

Melrose - proud to be named after a place in Scotland

Joanna - learning the ropes

Dr Debbie - a full on doctor, who rescued me from home 

Kathy - kind and caring

Dr Matt Carey - a man with a mission

St Christophers Hospice: Something to rave about!

Yesterday was wonderful for me and I continue to be astounded by the level of care I receive here. The day started by me having a wonderful jacuzzi bath. The bath was a huge brilliant white structure raised up several feet above the floor. I thought I am never going to jump high enough to get in there! The nurse (I won't mention names, because everyone will be lining up for the same treatment) helped me strip off, and sat me on this special chair. Then she pressed the appropriate controls and I was raised up, swung across and gently lowered into water ar a comfortable 40 degrees Celsius!  Having let me soak in the warmth for a blissful few minutes, she switched the jacuzzis pump on and I was in heaven! She very kindly washed my feet and legs, then my hair and back, amazing!  Then I washed the other bits. She then let me have another relaxing soak before pressing the buttons that lifted me out of the water back to ground zero!  I was glowing with cleanliness and dived into my clean underwear.
Well if that wasn't enough pleasure for one day no sooner was I back in my room than another angel appeared wanting to give me a massage! Rosalind was present but how could I resist, so I enthusiasticly agreed. Oh! She was so gentle rubbing my shoulders, neck and back in a circular motion. She then very kindly showed Rosalind how to do it. Did she realise she was adding a new dimension to our nearly fifty years of married bliss?

What a difference a day makes!

I am overwhelmed by all the wonderful responses I get from everyone, they do lift me up, so thank you. Some responses are from folk I have not heard from in ages, those are particularly precious.

The last post from me was pretty negative, so let me bring you the latest news.
I went on to new pain killers which really helped, got moved to a room nearer the nurse's office. I am not sure why, was it:-
1.  So they didn't have to walk so far!
2.  So they could catch me hallucinating at night!
3.  So I could answer the phone when they were busy!
4.  Because they get lonely!
I'll let you guess!
Then I had a string of the great and the good: Doctors, social workers and very helpful nurses  all wanting to help me.  The pain Eased a bit.  Rosalind agreed to stay the night sleeping on the reclining chair.   I was not surprised when she told me she had had an excellent night sleep. We are blessed that Ros can sleep almost anywhere at any time. I had a good night's sleep as well but best of all I kept my food down and had my waste disposal system function magnificently!

Today I had a  visit from a psychiatrist who I greeted with a hello I've always wanted to meet a head shrinker.  He was very good and we had a nice relaxing talk.  He decided having spoken to me that he did not need to prescribe any antidepression tablets.  Then I had a visit from a social worker who was very friendly and chatty finally I had a visit from Tom one of the doctors on my team and he said Alan I'm amazed to hear that you called Professor XXX a "head shrinker!"

Really struggling with the cancer!

Because I was in so much pain at home and kept vomiting everything up the specialist doc from St C's decided to get me in the hospice for a period to try to stabilise me. This was very helpful as it meant the family could go to Helsinki for Stuart and Helianna's wedding on the 10th.
Sadly in spite of strenuous efforts from the medics l have been steadily getting worse. Not eating and drinking has not helped and sadly I am hallucinating. Things came to a head last night when I dreamt there was a bunch of yobs attacking a patient. Apparently I got out of bed and fought with them. I remember getting hit in the face and lying on the floor with some heavy metal on me.  The nurses came to my aid and eventually, aching all over and with a suture over a cut on my nose I was back in bed.
A lot has happened since then. I have been seen by many doctors and a new plan for medication has been worked out.  I have all my painkillers given to me by a thing called a driver.  This spreads the admissions of the drugs over a twelve hour period.  Most of my other anti-sickness medication is given the same way.
90% of the time I feel horrible so much so that Rosalind has been with me most of the day and she plans to stay the night. That is going the extra mile! I am not sure how long I can keep posting so watch this space!

Angelic visitor provides more help!

A brief (I hope) up date on where we are with the lung cancer nonsense. Having had a miserable weekend with pain and vomiting (only made bearable by being able to watch all the Church General Conference sessions on the web, see LDS.org) I contacted St Christophers Hospice and they responded immediately by sending out an angel in the form of Dr Debbie Swann.  Dr Debbie (as she likes to be called) was brilliant, she gave me a thorough examination and reviewed what had been happening and what medication I was on.  She adjusted my medication and answered all my questions. Finally she said she would like to admit me to the Hospice for a few days so they could assess my condition more accurately and adjust the medication to suit.  So here I am sitting in bed having had my first night in the hospice.  Every one has been brilliant and I did get some sleep. Hopefully they will be able to help me keep some food down.

I think it was an old friend, Alex Barclay who shared the following quote with me that I found uplifting.
No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our character, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God.
Elder Orson F Whitney

Watch this space and I will try to keep you posted.

The old fishermans latest report on the health front!

Now the Royal Marsden Hospital have advised that the chemo is not working and they can do no more for me, the challenge is to control the pain so that I get some quality of life during my remaining months.  This is a lot easier said than done.  Fortunately this is where the St Christopher's Hospice get more involved. Last week I was not well enough to go to my regular meeting at the hospice to review my pain control, having vomited three times the night before and still feeling rough.  The hospice kindly arranged for a male nurse to visit me at home the next day.  His name was Matt Loveridge and he was excellent.  He reviewed what was happening to me, how I felt and what drugs I was on and then he made a number of recommendations which he wrote out in beautiful script and gave to me.  I know a lot of my readers have a medical background so here is the detail:-

For pain relief - increase the OxyContin tablets to 40mg twice a day.  Continue to take the OxyNorm liquid,10 to 15ml when required.  Take Nortriptyline at 20mg in the evening.

To control sickness - take Domperidone 10mg 3 times a day before meals.

To relieve constipation - take 2 Laxido sachets in 250ml of water each day.

I also take two 500mg paracetamol tablets four times a day at four hourly intervals.

Fortunately now I am off the chemotherapy I don't have to take all the pills associated with that (what a relief!).

However I am starting to wish I had shares in pharmaceutical companies!

Two of the things the medics ask that I have difficulty in answering relates to the pain. They ask where does it hurt and how bad does it hurt? The where is the easiest to explain except that the pain is internal and varies with movement and breathing. Basically my whole right lung aches most of the time even when I am under the pain control medication. It used to only ache low down but has progressively moved up.  When the pain control pills have worn off then the pain is a serious distraction and I have to try and do something about it. On a scale of 1 to 5 where 1 is no pain and 5 is excruciating pain I feel I regularly score a 3.5 and sometimes even a 4! This is when I use the OxyNorm liquid and the heat bag!  The heat bag was made by my daughter-in-law Debbie and it contains wheat, I think, anyway put it in the microwave for 90 seconds and it stays warm for a couple of hours.  I then place it on my shoulder and neck and the feeling of heat tends to mask some of the pain.

On the good news front Rosalind and I have met with the funeral director and I have decided where I want to be buried. The cemetery is called Greenlawns Memorial Park and it is high on the North Downs about 3 miles south of where we live, well away from traffic and heavily populated locations. Hopefully I will be able to "rest in peace!"  Only flat (horizontal) head stones are allowed making for a vary open and airy scene.  I bet it makes cutting the grass easier too!

So long and thanks for all the fish!

One of the funniest and most imaginative books I have ever read is The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. The sequel "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe" is equally good as is the last book in the series the title of which I have chosen as the title for this post.  This post title was suggested by my son Daniel who thought I should blog about my experiences fishing when I lived in Gibraltar where Daniel was born. So here goes......

One day whilst working as a draughtsman in Croydon for the government I heard that they urgently needed a draughtsman out in Gibraltar. I phoned staff management Thursday pm, Friday am they said they had checked my file and I met the criteria and I had to let them know first thing Monday morning if I wanted to go.  I went home to Rosalind and our two young children (Jason and Rachel) and shared the news.  We sat down with a blank sheet of paper and listed the pros and the cons.  On balance we decided that we should go, but having found out that there was not a branch of our Church on the Rock and the border with Spain was closed we decided to fast and pray to know if that was the right decision.  We got our answer and so Monday morning I made the call and a couple of weeks later I flew out by RAF Britannia as the advanced guard leaving Rosalind behind with lots to do!

So having sketched in the background, now to cut to the chase which involves fishing.  There I was practically surrounded by the sea having brought my sea fishing tackle with me.  So I started fishing from the North Mole (a mole is a big quayside) using slivers of cockle on size 4 hooks and the result was that I caught small fish.  When I spoke to the locals they all said you should have been here 10 years ago, before the Spanish started over fishing the area at night with lights and nets!  So eventually I got fed up with catching, gutting and eating the little fellers so I decided to focus on sailing and squash.  It was not to be as a few evenings later I was standing in front of my naval officers house when a Moroccan chap walked past with a couple of pieces of long bamboo sloping over his shoulders.  What really caught my eye were the two large sea bass hanging out of his tackle bucket!  Wow!  So this chap armed with two pieces of bamboo which he lashes together with a safety pin on the end to make a rod and line wrapped around a coke bottle as a reel is catching decent sized fish.  And there am I with a fibre glass rod and a super Mitchell fixed spool reel catching sprats!  So I resolved to study how the locals fished.

The next morning, a Saturday, saw me out early driving round the Rock looking out for a local  person fishing.  I had nearly given up when I spotted a car parked at the back of the Nuffield Services Swimming Pool.  Sure enough there was a Gibraltarian fishing off the wall above the sea.  I didn’t think much of the location but I pulled in 20 yards away from him and started setting up my tackle.  He had a rod out and I watched him retrieve, bait up and cast quite a long way.  Then he wandered over to chat. When he saw the size of hooks I was using he laughed and told me that was why I was only catching small fish.  He very kindly went to his car and came back with a huge steel hook.  He then showed me how to put a whole cockle on as bait.  He even said you can leave half the shell on as the fish will crush the shell and swallow the lot. By now I was convinced I was dealing with a mad man! Suddenly his rod nearly jumped into the sea and he was sprinting to grab it.  Tightening the drag he gave an almighty strike and battle commenced.  The fish was stripping line off the reel so he re-tightened the drag and then asked me to hold him by his belt as he climbed on top of the sea wall.  For what seemed like an age the struggle went on until the fish, still not seen, was swimming back and forwards right in front of us.  What happened next really surprised me as he gave me the rod saying hold onto him and then running to his car he stripped off to his Y fronts (underwear) grabbed a snorkel, face mask and flippers and ran to the beach where he could get into the sea.  Then he swam round to me up on the wall and grabbed the line where it entered the water.  The next thing he upended and swam down. All I could see were bubbles, flippers and his bottom!  After a minute or so he surfaced and waving to me started to swim towards the beach where he had entered the water.  I followed walking along the wall, feeding him line so as not to slow his progress.  Sadly I fed him a bit too much line and it snagged a rock and stopped his progress, he realising what had happened swam back to free it.  The next thing I saw was him diving down under again and there was more bubble, flipper and bottom activity. Eventually he started swimming towards the beach again and I followed being more careful in terms of controlling the line.  When we eventually reached the beach he staggered out of the water with a 28lb grouper hanging from his right hand, held by fingers in its eye sockets. To try and hold it any other way risks serious cuts from its sharp fins and gill plates.  In his left hand, and trying to climb over his head was an 18lb octopus!! He spotted that when he swam back to free the snagged line.

I did manage to take a photo of Johnny with the fish and octopus but sadly I haven’t been able to find it.  We became good friends after that and he taught me how to catch decent sized fish during my stay in Gib.  That transformed my experience there.

For whom the bell tolls, know this it tolls for thee!

This is not mine, but it is what it feels like to me!

Went with my daughter Rachel to the Royal Marsden Hospital to get the result of my latest CT scan. I was pleased when I realised I was going to see the top lady consultant, Dr Mary O'Bryan, rather than one of her support team. I thanked her for delaying my chemo so I could attend the family holiday. She kindly let me show her pictures of the family on holiday at Center Parcs and then she got down to business. She said that the CT scans showed that the chemotherapy was not stopping the cancer from spreading and sadly there was nothing more that the Marsden could do for me. 




Wow, there is nothing quite like calling a spade a spade! 




On reflection I was not all that surprised at the scan results, as I had felt pain-wise there was a deterioration, but I did think there might have been a plan B! Dr O'Bryan made it quite clear that there wasn't a plan B that involved treatment at the Marsden and that I should look to support from the Hospice for pain control etc.  Both Rachel and I were a bit upset at this news as there didn't seem to be any room to manoeuvre and we appreciated Karen, the specialist nurse, who popped in to see us and offer her condolences.




Rachel agreed to phone round her siblings with the news but later that day I called them as just speaking to them cheers me up. The following morning I Face Timed with Dan and Holly in the States. If I call them at 09.00 it is 01.00 their time and they are usually up! Dan really cheered me up. He told me about a colleague who's wife was ill with lots of pain until she discovered the medicinal use of marijuana! Apparently it's legal in WA. I was wondering if I could get the doc to prescribe it for me, that and a Jimmy Hendrix CD. 




Then Dan said that an advantage of knowing that your death is fairly imminent is that using modern technology you could arrange to speak at your own funeral! I must say that might appeal to me. Maybe I could even sing and play the guitar? No on second thoughts knowing my ability I think that might be pushing it a bit too far!




On the positive side I am getting slightly better at managing the pain some of the time. People calling, e mailing and visiting help a lot, not only is it nice to have contact and hear their news it also distracts me from thinking about myself. When my neighbour Rick drops in we end up laughing our socks off and a few days ago an old friend Beverley came right out of the blue and brightened up my day.




I enjoyed watching the last night of the BBC Proms Saturday night and I said to Rosalind that this is probably the last time I shall be able to watch it!  A sobering thought!




Thanks for visiting the blog and reading the posts, I am amazed at how much it gets viewed all over the world. I really appreciate the kind comments and it reminds me that I have so many good friends. I truly am blessed.

When I am famous!

Desert Island Discs is a very long running programme on BBC radio 4. It was invented in 1942 by Roy Plomley. The format is simple, a famous guest is asked to select eight records they would like to have with them if they were stranded alone on a desert island. Then they are asked about their life and why they have chosen the records, excerpts of which get played. It is interesting to hear their life stories and why their particular choice of music is important to them.




So in anticipation of a call from the BBC I thought I would prepare my list of records!




1. I Get Around (Beach Boys). This appealed to me in my teens and reminds me of when I saw the Beach Boys live at Tooting Broadway. Years later when I use to drive mini buses full of teenagers to summer camps playing it over the vehicles sound system always got everyone in a holiday mood.

2. MacArthur's Park (Richard Harris). I enjoy the tune and the imaginative lyrics, most famously lost love being likened to an iced cake being left out in the rain! It is long, loud and emotive.

3. Morning Mood, Pierre Gynt (Grieg). This is used as the opening music to the film "The Vikings" and it enhances the amazing scenery of the fjords. Every time I hear the opening bars I can visualise the beauty of the fjords.

4. Rainy Days and Mondays (Carpenters). Almost any one of Karen Carpenters songs could be chosen. I have selected this one because it reminds me of when I would stand at the bus stop on a wet Monday morning and sing it (quietly) to myself. It also reminds me of her untimely death.

5. Killing Me Softly (Roberta Flak). Being a romantic I enjoy the lyrics and would play this, via headphones, whilst working at my drawing board in Gibraltar taking care not to be spotted by my boss!

6. Come, Come Ye Saints (Mormon Tabernacle Choir). This was the first LDS hymn I really got to know. I like the words "And should we die before our journey's through, Happy day! All is well! We then are free from toil and sorrow, too; With the just we shall dwell!"

7. Telegraph Road (Dire Straits). This was introduced to me by Clive Mormon, a splendid fellow who I helped to develop his career as an engineer. I have played it a lot over the last few months usually late at night when I can't sleep. The lyrics are meaningful and clear and the guitar riffs amazing.

8. Jerusalem (as sung at the last night of the BBC Promenade Concerts). I find this inspiring and always try to watch the last night of this amazing British institution.




After the music has been introduced and played the presenter advises that you are stranded on the island with copies of the Bible and the works of Shakespeare and you can select one other book. This is a no brainer for a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and so I would select "The Book of Mormon, another testament of Jesus Christ."




You are then asked as to what luxury would you like to have on the island, my choice will be no surprise as it is Salt Water fly fishing tackle! Equipped with that I would not want to be rescued! Hey ho we can but dream!

Fly Fisherman has a Brush with Art!

Saw Bernie, the specialist nurse at St Christopher's Hospice yesterday for my pain control check up. I showed her a graph of what my previous 24 hours had been like and she advised me to double the OxyContin pills.  I did from 8 pm and they worked effectively till 6 am when I awoke with extreme pain so I had to get up and move about.  Not due the next dose till 8 am so I took some paracetamols and some OxyNorm liquid as top up.  Then I needed something to distract me so I decided to blog. Here goes:-

I had an excellent art master called Kenneth Somers-Yeates at secondary school.  He caned me once for playing the fool when I was around 13 years old but later when I was a prefect we became good friends. He taught me a lot about perspective drawing so from time to time I dabble.

This is a fish picture I painted a long time ago of a fine spotted trout.

Whilst doing voluntary work at the London LDS Temple I painted this view of the Manor House as seen from my bedroom window.  This has been my most reproduced painting as practically everyone who has served on site has requested one.  In the end instead of giving them away I started charging a £5 donation to the Church's Perpetual Education Fund.  This has raised well over £300.

Recently at Center Parcs I painted the view out of the lodge window, not very exciting but the only place I could get comfortable enough to paint.

Exploring Anomalies! This could be controversial?

Maybe it's an age thing or maybe I am just over hypersensitive to what is going on around me but I am amazed and even disconcerted about what I see as anomalies. 




Take for example the vast sums of money spent by local government departments in the UK in installing traffic calming solutions. The most popular of these (popular by the local governments and shock absorber manufacturers not drivers) are speed humps (which more poetically were known as "sleeping policemen"). Why go to the trouble, cost and effort of installing these when letting a random scattering of deep potholes develop, renders the same traffic calming effect for free?












For me another anomaly occurs at dances or discos. Why do people attend dances and disco? Well certainly to dance or at least to jig about, but mainly to meet and get to know other people. Does this happen? Yes, but the efficiency of the process is severely inhibited. What inhibits the process? The "disc jockey"! How do they do it?  By playing the music so loud it is impossible to hold a conversation. This explains why at a noisy disco you see so many people in the corridors or even the car park so they can talk. Sadly it is a self defeating cycle as the DJ on seeing people moving off the dance floor turns the volume higher! Obviously DJs are not equipped to be arbiters of noise levels as the very nature of their job means they are all profoundly deaf anyway!




Years ago it came as a real shock to me when I asked my teenage children if they had enjoyed a particular event such as a friends party or church youth club meeting and they replied "Dad, it was really wicked!" Concerned as to what evil had transpired in this seemingly safe environment I would "water board" them to get to the innocent truth. This current popular use of the word wicked is another anomaly as is the use of the word "cool"! Sitting in a warm and humid chapel last Sunday I was amused by a speaker who kept telling the congregation how cool they were. On reflection maybe that was less of a concern than if he had been saying how "hot" they were!




The use of alcohol to enhance an evening's pleasure leads to the classic anomaly "it must have been a brilliant night out because my head hurts and I can't remember a thing!" I am so glad that in my autumnal years not having been fueled by alcohol I can still remember the good nights out!

Then there is the anomaly of some restaurants imposing a "service charge"! If I see that when ordering I am tempted to ask, "If we serve ourselves can we forgo the service charge?




Mention computers and anomalies and I could prattle on at infinitum. Suffice it to say that if my computerised financial transactions are so secure why is it necessary to have so many system updates and why are there daily news reports of security breaches and people's nest eggs going missing?




Now to risk getting a bit political. In the days when we were either hunters or gatherers or even multi tasking at both, everyone had to make some contribution to the survival of the tribe. Some of us are old enough to almost remember, no work, no eat. So everyone had to do their bit; kids collecting firewood, elderly people watching children and most surprisingly even teenagers working! Probably even the weak, sick or dysfunctional were expected to make some sort of contribution. No contribution, no dinner! So here today, in the so called civilised world, the anomaly is that often we actually pay people to do nothing! When we do that we deny them the satisfaction of experiencing the feeling of being needed and of a "job well done"! So what stops us helping everyone find a working role, I suggest it is mainly a lack of imagination. 




When I worked in Africa I was amazed at how some of the locals could make something to sell out of nothing.  Once I was invited to stay at the home of the architect I was working for in Lusaka, Zambia. He lived at Leopards Hill, the posh part and his estate had a swimming pool, squash court and everything else you could desire.  One of the reception rooms in the house was huge, two storeys high and was equipped like a museum. On the floor were a number of very large models, in metal, of vehicles beautifully hand crafted.  I asked the owner about them and he said that one day there was a knock on the door and a local gentleman said "Mr Andrews here is a model of your Toyota Land Cruiser I have made for you".  Andy was impressed with the size (it was at least 4 feet long) and the craftsmanship (it was all made out of recycled coke cans metal, oil drum metal etc).  Andy felt he had to buy it as it was so good.  A month later the same man appeared but this time with an equally beautiful, huge model of Andy's wife's car.  The following month it was a beautiful model of the family's tractor and so it went on until Andy pulled the plug.  I cite this because it shows an interesting use of initiative.



Well I have run out of steam now but I bet you have your own list of anomalies!

Who is the angel who tried to help?

Last Thursday having been told they were giving me a break from the chemo I had a good day on Friday and even managed to visit Ann and Bill our favourite neighbours. I was feeling so much better I started thinking about Rosalind and I going away for a break. On Saturday having failed to get a new batch of 12 hour pain killer tablets ordered off the surgery website I took the empty OxyContin packet to the surgery, fortunately only 200 metres away and a lady in the office said she would order it for me.

So I had to switch to the short term OxyNorm liquid pain relief. Things started to go downhill from there on. I felt unwell during Saturday night but on Sunday morning I decided to go to Church as Rosalind was giving the closing 20 minute talk in Sacrament meeting and I wanted to support her. Also Ann and Bill were coming. Rosalind's talk was excellent but as I was poorly Ann and Bill took me home afterwards.

We had invited Alejandro and his daughter Camila to lunch on Sunday so we could get to know them better and also to help them on the job development front. After lunch we invited them to do the Church's "Career Choices Questionnaire" which they managed well with some help from Google Translate! Their mother tongue is Spanish. After Rosalind and I had analysed their results we helped them with the career selection process. By this time I was feeling grim so I left Ros to finish off and I retired to bed.

To cut a long story short over the next days I developed diarrhoea and vomiting which coupled with the pain from the cancer has made life pretty miserable. The surgery managed to prescribe more liquid pain relief by mistake but a couple of telephone calls sorted that and eventually I got the OxyContin pills.

Our church Stake President Chris Turner, and his wife Sue visited us on Tuesday evening and Ros had invited them to dinner. I joined them, unshaven and in my PJ's and managed a bit of dinner. We had a lovely chat but then I had to bail out feeling really unwell.

I then had more vomiting and severe "Ghandi's Revenge" so Wednesday was lousy but with two highlights. The first was that my daughter-in-law Debbie emailed out the link to the family photos the professional photographer had taken at Center Parcs and they were brilliant!

The second highlight was an anonymous parcel from Amazon containing an electronic pain suppression device called a Tens!  Having read the instructions and experiencing some shoulder pain, I decided to try it out.  I think I must have put the electrodes in the wrong place because it amplified rather than inhibited the pain.  Still I will experiment because it obviously has an effect.  Sadly about 20 minutes after the experiment I was throwing up the tomato soup and banana I had eaten earlier.  I don't think the device caused that. 

The question remains "who is the nice angel who sent me the Tens device"? I would like to thank them for thinking of me and trying to help in a practical way. If it was you please let me know so I can thank you?